By Shayne 

Growing up in conservative areas made it hard for me to be proud of being in the LGBTQIA+ community, which is why, when the opportunity to study abroad arose, I decided to take advantage of it. When I chose where to study overseas, I had a few things in mind: I wanted to be in a Spanish-speaking country in South America, and I wanted to try living in a more inclusive, accepting place.  

Queer Spaces in South America: Choosing Buenos Aires 

Argentina is not only the most gay-friendly country in South America, but Buenos Aires (BA) also ranks in the top 10 queer-friendly cities in the world. I sought an environment where I could explore my identity without fear of judgment and where my identity was celebrated and normalized. So it was decided.  

A mural of Frida Kahlo, painted by artist Campos Jesses. The heart and butterflies were adorned in 2022. Frida is a queer icon. She was openly bisexual and was androgynous in her style, making her a pioneer of gender nonconformity. Her art reflected this. She paved the way for many with her exploration of her identity, sexuality, and gender. 

A Lack of Queer Representation Growing up in Conservative States  

It hadn’t occurred to me that being in queer spaces was something I had been desperately needing: why should my sexual identity come between friends and family? 

I wasn't aware how much living in a conservative state, I felt isolated from the LGBTQIA+ community. Representation was scarce, and open discussions about sexual orientation were almost non-existent. This environment made it difficult to realize and accept my identity.  

I pride myself on being able to get along with anyone, regardless of their beliefs. I can create my community of people without it getting in the way of my relationships. If I know the shape of my soul, that should be enough. 

I know now I was in denial. I was terrified of losing people or being judged because of it. And even though many of the people around me were not outright homophobic, they, too, grew up with little representations. It hadn't been normalized and was an uncomfortable subject to address. Unknowingly, that created a lot of pent-up internalized homophobia that took me until studying abroad to see and start to unravel. 

This was the first vintage market I went to in BA. It's located in Palermo Hollywood (a block from the Frida Kahlo mural). It is full of vintage furniture and art! 

Discovering Acceptance in Buenos Aires 

When I arrived in Buenos Aires in the fall, it was the end of winter and the beginning of spring for Argentina. I spent most of my time walking and exploring the city. My interest always peaked when I saw local artisan markets, museums, street art, and, of course, good food.  

But generally, it was the people who drew me to those spaces. They were always welcoming. People wanted to share their stories and art, no matter my Spanish level. It helped that I learned a lot of terminology from an Argentine art and architecture class at a local university that was taught in Spanish.  

While you make many friends through your study abroad program, school, or with locals, it can also be an immensely lonely time. This meant there was a lot of self-reflection. When you study abroad, you also get to introduce yourself as a completely new person.  

I thought a lot about how I wanted to introduce myself. If I were to be proud of my sexual orientation, then that's what I should say. When it came down to it, I found myself unable to do it. I was still scared. But I was lucky I ended up with a roommate who grew up in queer spaces, and I was able to be honest without fear of rejection. It was a start.  

Something I thought when I moved to BA was that the queer spaces would fall into my lap. But I learned that even if something is around you, it may not come to you. You still have to do the work to find it and hold it. So my next steps were to find queer spaces in the city.  

Fear of Rejection 

While I was exploring, I started to unravel knot by knot my internalized homophobia, and I realized how many people in my life could have a negative reaction if I came out. I had to recognize that losing people scared the living daylight out of me. Not only is it the loss of someone you love and respect, but you lose them because of something you can't change about yourself.  

Or they become awkward. They don't know what to say or how to act. Even though my hometown friends were nice after I told them I was queer, things did change. Never with bad intent, but I became a stereotype, not myself.  

Immersing Myself in Queer Environments 

Buenos Aires is the home of tango. Although it has a history dating back to the late 1800s, BA has kept up with the times to create inclusive spaces. One of the most famous queer spaces in BA is at their Queer Milongas called "Tango Queer." It is for anyone and everyone.  

Someone waving a pride flag from their apartment over the Pride Parade. The parade started at Plaza de Mayo, where they have the Pink House (their version of the White House) with other prominent architecture and history. The parade lasts for hours, goes miles and is getting bigger and more colorful every year! 

The most prominent event I went to was BA's Pride. Their Pride celebration is in November, which meant I would be there while it happened! Their Pride is iconic, and over 1 million people come annually. It was big, colorful, and prideful. It was the biggest queer space I had ever been in. This was a bigger moment where I realized I’d grown up in an environment that created shame and guilt about my sexual orientation.  

This is me at the Buenos Aires 2023 Pride Parade! 
 

Integrating Acceptance  

I would love to end this by saying I have overcome my internalized homophobia and felt comfortable being who I am in front of family and friends, but I still have a long way to go. Growth is slow, but studying abroad truly helped start it. I am more confident and comfortable with myself. Step by step, I am finding more pride because of Buenos Aires. The inclusive environment and supportive community helped me grow.  

My journey shows the importance of finding and creating inclusive spaces. Studying abroad in Buenos Aires was a catalyst for my personal growth and acceptance. I encourage anyone struggling with their identity to seek out environments where they can explore not just the world but themselves.  

This is from when I went backpacking on the W-Trek in Patagonia. I went with two friends I met through my study abroad program. We spent five days and four nights backpacking through the gorgeous mountain range, Torres del Paine. Torres means “towers” in Spanish, and Paine means “blue” in the native Tehuelche language.